I Was Made for Relationships
By Debbie Whitehead
Controller
You may have just read my job title and wondered, “What’s a “Controller”?” While the title sounds a little menacing, I assure you it’s not. A Controller is a kind of accountant. As the Controller at Multnomah, I work in the Business Office and I am responsible for the accounting operations of the university. I deal with budgets and university cash flow, financial reports, audits, accounting records, and many other areas related to finance. But as I reflect on who I am and who God made me to be, I know that “accountant” is not the answer. I consider my role as an accountant as a means to an end.
In every area of my life, I’ve always enjoyed being behind the scenes in a role that allows me to serve others. My job as the Controller allows me to serve students, faculty, and staff by helping them to understand the complicated aspects of budgeting and accounting. I also serve in other areas of my life, like helping with worship and leading the reception committee at my church or serving my family in whatever way I can. In any situation, “I want to serve” is always on the tip of my tongue, because service puts me in the position where I can bless others and form relationships.
I truly believe that God made me that way—having a servant’s heart is a Christlike quality—but I also believe that my desire to serve came from watching my parents and learning from how they engaged with people. My parents were very involved with church ministry, serving on the Board of Deacons and different committees all the time. They were always willing to have conversations with people regardless of the convenience, our home was always open, and they made a point to include my siblings and me. We served together as a family because my parents set an example of hospitality and service.
I accepted Christ into my life when I was seven and I was very active with youth group and church activities, and I have fond memories of my childhood. As one of four siblings growing up in a small town, I participated in sports and music throughout my elementary education, I loved being busy, and I was very involved in the church. I have great memories of going to summer camp, going to various youth group events, and interacting with different youth leaders over the years. Partially because my parents were so connected in the church, but also due to my own involvement, I had relationships with so many pastors and different leaders in our church. I felt comfortable approaching any of them, asking questions about life, and getting help with things I was wrestling with, and, through those relationships, I was able to engage in activities that shaped me.
In high school, I began to develop two significant threads in my life: Accounting and volleyball. I was drawn into my first accounting class during my junior year in high school. Math was not a favorite subject at the time, but accounting was captivating to me. It made sense. I like the process of going from A to Z, and I enjoyed that there were neat rows, lines, and totals. I had a great instructor who made the material come alive for me, and the subject matter seemed to compliment my skills and interests. In my junior and senior years, basically, all of my classes were accounting classes. On the other hand, my interest in volleyball was growing. I had always been active and competitively involved in sports, but volleyball was my favorite.
When I graduated high school, I decided to get my associate's degree in Accounting, but I knew that I did not want to be a CPA (Certified Public Accountant); I loved the subject of accounting, but I was not interested in doing all those taxes. After graduating with my associates, I went to earn my bachelor’s degree from Oregon Institute of Technology in 1985, and I enjoyed my time there. While I would have loved to compete in volleyball at the college level, the Lord used my time in college to bring meaning and purpose through different avenues. It was during those years that I was able to make my faith my own. Being five hours away from home, I decided for myself if I wanted to go to church, who Jesus was to me, and what my relationship with Him looked like. My faith was not my parents’, it was mine.
By the time I graduated college I was asking God what my future was going to look like. I had found a good group of friends to go to church with, which I loved, but I was single and I still didn't know where I was going in life. After graduation, I went on to work in retail for a while, and then, eventually, I got an opportunity to work at a tax office.
During that season, I was going to church in Portland with my roommate and we began to consider how we wanted to serve there. She chose to work with the high school kids, so I figured I would work with the junior highers. I had no clue what I was getting myself into, and a lot of people looked at me like I was crazy to want to work with that age range, but I found that I really enjoyed the opportunity. I loved the late nights, silly games, and overnighters. But what I really loved was engaging with the students where they were at and seeing just how valuable all were in God’s eyes. I found myself in the position where I was talking to young people and helping them answer the questions of where God wanted them to go and what He wanted them to do with their lives. But I was on the same journey—I didn't know where my journey was leading me or what God had for me, either. At 27 years old, I was still trying to figure out where I was going in life, and I was also asking God about where marriage and kids would come into play. While I was unsure of how that would work into things, I did feel like God was helping me to find purpose.
In 1990, God opened up opportunities to play volleyball again. I connected with Portland Parks and Rec, and I got involved with a church that was doing sports outreach through volleyball. While I was there, this guy named Terry who I was working with in the ministry came to me and said, "Debbie, I have an opportunity for you. I think I know exactly what you need to do—you need to come coach junior high girls’ volleyball." Literally, at that moment, I felt he could have been God speaking directly to me. I didn't know I wanted to do that, but it spoke directly to my heart. I had no idea that it was even an opportunity for me to do something like that, but I heard God saying, “Debbie, this is a door I'm opening wide for you on your journey. This is what I want for you because I know it will fulfill you where you're at in life right now.” I coached junior high girls’ volleyball in the Portland area for eight years. When I first started, I didn’t realize how much the experience would feed me or how much I would enjoy it, but God did. He knew me. God knew what would minister to me and which door to open at the right time. And He continued to present me with new opportunities.
During that time, I was also hired to work at Multnomah University in the business office, and I coached volleyball on the side. After coaching junior high, I coached at a Christian high school, and then, in 2000, God opened the door for me to coach at Multnomah.
God opened door after door after door, even in my job changes at Multnomah. I started out doing Accounts Payable, not long after I was working in Payroll, then I became the Director. I even went on to earn my CPA (Certified Public Accountant) licensure, something I never thought I would do. I was still unmarried, but I was able to appreciate the blessings and opportunities that God was giving to me. I was coaching volleyball, I was traveling overseas with the team, I was working in a position that I enjoyed, and I continued to grow. I made an effort to focus on God and believe that He had my best interest in mind. Eventually, I moved into my position as Controller.
“People don’t recognize me on campus saying, ‘That’s Debbie, the Controller,’ because that’s not who I am. It doesn’t define me. I am a servant-hearted friend; someone people can talk to who will help in whatever way she can.”
- Debbie Whitehead
When I think about how my desire to serve fits into my job, I think about forming relationships. It may not seem like an accounting role in the Business Office would give me much opportunity to interact with people, but I’ve found that it can. I get to work with staff and faculty, helping them answer questions about how to create a workable budget or about where certain expenses go. I get to walk beside them and say, "This is stuff you don't enjoy, but I enjoy it, so let me help you with that." As a bi-product, I can form relationships with my co-workers by serving them.
I think my favorite part, though, is interacting with the students. I help students figure out how to pay for school, and, through my work, I can form relationships with them. Part of my responsibility is overseeing Student Accounts where students come to pay their bills. While it's not technically part of my job, I look forward to days when my staff is out of the office because it means that I get to sit at the window and talk with the students that come by. I take every opportunity I can to spend time with them; I try to go to the cafeteria as often as I can, I chat with students when I see them, and I go to our campus coffee shop to say “hi”. Eventually, relationships form and I have students coming to my office just to talk about their lives and the things they are dealing with or to invite me to their sports game that night.
Volleyball and sports have also become a connection that I have with the students. Due to my years as a coach, but even after my time in that role, I’ve been able to talk to students about things that are important to them. I had a student who was working in the IT Department come to work on my computer, and we just sat and talked for 20 minutes about her track and field events, why she loves running, what her vision is for the future, and what she sees the Lord doing in her life through track and field. I’ve had other students come to me, saying, "Debbie, I need help paying a bill. How do I make it work in my finances?" We work on their immediate need, but I also get to ask them how they're doing, and I get to follow up with them on conversations we’ve had in the past. I also get to interact with students who are Accounting majors—sometimes they come and talk to me about their classes, and I am able to serve them in that way. I have been able to engage students and show them that I care about what they do in sports, how they do in school, and what they do with their lives.
I like being part of what's going on with campus events. I think that participating in events and activities that students are excited about is a big part of caring for students, I want to make sure everybody feels included, involved, and that they’re having fun. I enjoy that. God made me that way. I have plenty of work on my desk, but I also have a God-given opportunity to go engage with people and I believe that I need to take that opportunity. Of course, there's a balance between accomplishing the work I was hired to do and going to get another cup of coffee with a student, but I see both as valuable. For me, serving others is a means to an end, and the end is relationship. By serving my coworkers and students I can make a bridge that allows for deeper relationships. And even if a student or coworker never sees the work that I do for them, I can still find joy in the task. It is what I was made for.
My journey to discover what I was made for happened in God's timing, and I had to trust him along the way. I look back now and see that God put people, positions, and opportunities in my life to take me where He wants me to go. But I had to trust Him. For many years, I was asking Him, "When will I get married?" I watched my sister, my brothers, and countless friends get married and have kids, and I felt like, "Lord, when will that happen for me?" But I trusted Him with it and, through much prayer, God gave me contentment in other areas. Instead of focusing on what I didn't have, I kept my focus on what God had given me and the doors He was opening and God honored that. Fourteen years after our first connection doing church outreach through volleyball, Terry and I got married.
Even though I got married later in life, I can honestly say that God’s timing was perfect and my relationship with my husband has been such a gift. God brought him into my life in His timing, and I have learned different things about who I am, who God is, and what it looks like to follow Him through that relationship. I find that I can easily be “Martha” from the Mary and Martha story in the Gospel of Luke. I see so many things that need to be done to make things flow better or work better that, sometimes, I don’t see the relationship that matters most. When Christ comes to Mary and Martha’s home with all of the disciples, Martha is stressed out about all the things that she needs to do to provide for the people who have come. I find myself easily doing that, hiding in the background, getting things done, and making sure everybody is well served when I should be focusing more on the fact that Christ is in the room. While my first response is always, “I can help,” I don’t always have the capacity, strength, or time to accomplish everything. Also, I have found that my saying “yes” to a situation is not always in the best interest of the person asking for help. I have had to learn how to say “no,” can be an equal act of service and righteousness before God. By walking beside my husband, I have come to understand that more. When I look at how much Terry helps me temper my desire to serve by encouraging me to rest, I see how God put him in my life to help with that. He helps me to find balance.
To know God and be in relationship with Him, is a continual journey. There isn’t a point where we get to say "Okay, I'm all done. I’ve got it." There's just so much more of who God is, and we need to spend our whole lives learning about who He made us to be, what He called us to do, and how to do it well. When I was young, I didn’t think that I would be an accountant, but God directed my path to be a CPA because God knew better. He looked past my occupation and saw the person He made me to be. God directed my path towards accounting because He made me to serve. People don’t recognize me on campus saying, "That’s Debbie, the Controller," because that’s not who I am. It doesn’t define me. I am a servant-hearted friend; someone people can talk to who will help in whatever way she can.
When I think about all the students that come through Multnomah’s doors, I recognize that I have such a short amount of time with them but that God has allowed me to make a connection with each one. Whether we talk about finances, volleyball, academics, or anything else going on in their lives, I was made for that student in that place at that moment to serve them, to show them love, and to be the light of Christ. Whether I’m working in my office, in a conversation with my neighbors, on a welcoming committee at my church, or filling up my gas tank, I was made for more. I was made to be the light of Christ throughout everything I do.
Trust in the Lord. He knows who you are because He made you. He knows what pulls at your heartstrings. He knows what makes you hurt. He knows what will fulfill you. He knows the relationships you need. If you put your trust in Him and His timing, He will stretch you and shape you into the person He created you to be. He will show you what you were made for and He will provide the means to live it out.